FUCKIN TATOOS, HOW DO THEY WORK?

From Pharyngula:

Bob Enyart (regarding sexual selection)-"If tattoos become really popular so that women are attracted to men who have tattoos, how long will that be the fad before kids start being born with tattoos? When is that going to happen? How stupid could Darwin be and all the world full of evolutionists?"

The left side of my body is numb and I smell burnt toast

Renuo Fides: "The general hypothesis of ID CAN be tested by the scientific method - although not as it pertains to "naturally" occurring life forms."

Just nO RLY?

marksman11: "Ok and there are no rings around Saturn either. Study the firmament from people who have. Learn grasshopper, learn! Ever heard of those HUGE drawings in South America? A hummingbird, insect, etc.....How do you think they drew them? The book of JOB which is the oldest book of the bible says the morning stars sang to JOB. What causes a radio to recieve? It's crystals. What would this firmament be made of? Crystaline. Do the stars put out cosmic vibrations? Absolutely. So what would have happened when these vibrations hit the crystaline firmament? That's right, the morning stars sang to JOB."

Back to our regularly scheduled FAIL!

Rick: "Parting the Red Sea doesn't fit too well into your scientific models of gravity, surface tension, etc."

Take me out to the FAIL game...

Robert Stevens: "I want to ad the most annoying thing about Atheist is they give The Christians too much of the soap box. The Atheist are like The Red Sox and they believe they could make a deal with The Yankees that in August of 2009 they'll play a 7 games series , and that'll be The World Series. It's a bizarre combination of disrespect and enjoying arguing with them the most. Again no one has the right to boycott any groups scientific studies , I could see debating on what school level should a science be studied or pre-requirements. As a New Ager I like ID with a pre-requirement of evolution studies , from their you have support , counter or completly disregard evolution options. In a University setting disagreeing with you professor does not equal failure. With responcible review boards this coarse could be "The Next big thing." See it'll happen anyway , you're just slowing science down , and possible your very own agenda. You could have your Ausust "World Series" but MLB will archieve The World Series as it happens in October & possible part of November."

Cannot...Unsee...THE AGONY!!!

Holy running fuck, I don't even know what to say about this one!

Robert Stevens: "It's the other way around. Mysticism came first , and scientific method falls under mysticism , and I believe the comments being posted here by Atheist prove my point. Mysticism falls mainly under the science of Charisma. One part of Mysticism is the art of having others believe what I say. The Atheist here live in such a small box. You guys are not interested in science. You're interested in retarding science. Excluding parts of the tree. For the most part , your greatest scientific conversation could be which generation of people stop getting wisdom teeth or stop growing pinkies. Then there's alot of you can't prove that , he should not be aloud to say this. Maybe there are a few topics you like. I would guess stem cell research , ocean life and of cource animal breeding."

Irreducibly FAIL...SQUARED!

Here's a double dose from a moron on Topix! Dor sho gha!

HEY MIDDLE AMERICA: "these silly questions are nothing but a diversion from the fact that you can't refute the statement that darinism cannot explai the irreducibly complex systems that make up cells and as such by darwin's own words:

" if one could find an organ or structure that could not have been formed by "numerous, successive, slight modifications," his "theory would absolutely break down" (Darwin 1859, 191).

and irreducibly complex systems are indeed a structure

so take up the challenge because so far nobody has ever produced a paper published in the jme that details how such complex systems were built using a darwinian framework"

HEY MIDDLE AMERICA: "that's not how it works...because the fable of evolution has stated that evolution of such irreducibly complex systems must occur for the theory to be valid it is up to the proponents of said fable to produce the needed proof to back it up...the mistake you and your ilk made was to prematurely declare evolution fact when it was never really proven in the first place"

THE FAIL HURTS!!!

#14 is my favourite. BTW, that whole site is just filled with FAIL fun!

Missing Universe Museum: "Students, give this test to your teachers. When they fail it, ask them why they are teaching this nonsense! Teachers, give this test to your students if you really want them to know the truth about evolution! 1. Which evolved first, male or female?
2. How many millions of years elapsed between the first male and first female?
3. List at least 9 of the false assumptions made with radioactive dating methods.
4. Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?
5. Which came first: ...the eye, ...the eyelid, ...the eyebrow, ...the eye sockets, ...the eye muscles, ...the eye lashes, ...the tear ducts, ...the brain's interpretation of light?
6. How many millions of years between each in question 5?
7. If we all evolved from a common ancestor, why can't all the different species mate with one another and produce fertile offspring?
8. List any of the millions of creatures in just five stages of its evolution showing the progression of a new organ of any kind. When you have done this, you can collect the millions of dollars in rewards offered for proof of evolution!
9. Why is it that the very things that would prove Evolution (transitional forms) are still missing?
10. Explain why something as complex as human life could happen by chance, but something as simple as a coin must have a creator. (Show your math solution.)
11. Why aren't any fossils or coal or oil being formed today?
12. List 50 vestigial or useless organs or appendages in the human body.
13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?
14. If life began hundreds of millions of years ago, why is the earth still under populated?
15. Why hasn't evolution duplicated all species on all continents?"

Science AND Math FAIL!

Todd Wood: "Anyone who knows me at all knows that I break down creationist biology into four main components: design, natural evil, systematics, speciation, and biogeography."
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(How many components did YOU count? BONG!!!)

Take this FAIL and shove it!

Barb: "For ID evidence: how do we get the sexes, sexual reproduction, organs, self-healing skin, hearts that beat for a lifetime without any external energy source, our computer-like brains, our eyes and the ability to see colors?"

Scientific defense FAIL!

This entire article is chock-full of FAIL, but the good old "Second Law of Thermodynamics Fail" might be one of my most favorite of all time. (BTW, it's called "the sun", ignoramus.)

Edward N. Chase: "The Second Law of Thermodynamics is often stated as the law of increasing entropy: "A natural process always takes place in such a direction as to cause an increase in the entropy of the universe." (John Williams, "Modern Physics," Page 210). The effect of this law is that unless there is a purposeful source of energy operating in a system, the various parts, molecules, etc., become less and less organized and more and more random."

Yes, there really are this many people that FAIL at biology

voicecrying: "If Genesis is true, we are descendants of an incestuous relationship. However, if evolution is true, we are descendants of a bestial relationship - the first man/woman to evolve had to mate with a sub-human (i.e. beast) partner of the opposite sex."

Fooled you!

Ha ha! Still updating! There is too much science fail to stop at Iowa retardation! LOOK!

happypioneer: "IS EVOLUTION REALLY SCIENTIFIC, THEN EXPLAIN THIS- The "scientific method" is as follows: Observe what happens: based on those observations, form a theory as to what may be true; test the theory by further observations and by experiments; and watch to see if the predictions based on the theory are fulfilled. Is this the method followed by those who believe in and teach evolution? Hardly, if they did, they would be able to explain and provide scientific evidence about how the first cell was nutured. Until science can prove this EVOLUTION IS JUST A THEORY. AND SCIENTIST CAN NOT EXPLAIN THIS IN ANY SCIENTIC WAY.(EVOLUTION FACT---------NOT YET)."

O RLY?

Robert Stevens: "When i say everything is a science , I mean EVERYTHING , there are even those that now claim masturbation has sciences , folks I kid you not. If I went on with expaination it may be considered spamming."

Just...no.

queen kira: "The layering of the Earth's crust is due to hydrologic sorting from the Flood. The fossils are found in the order in which they were buried, not the order in which they "evolved"."

Noah's Ark and the Great FAIL!

[In response to evidence that large wooden ships simply do not work]

OrangeWIZARD: "What do ships have? A hull.

What snapped on the wooden ship? The hull.

Does the ark have a hull? No.

The. Ark. Is. A. Hollow. Rectangular. Prism."

Steaming Pile of Fail

Raymond H. Kocot: "Because confirmable observations and generating experimental data are impossible for unique events like life's origin and macroevolution theory, world-famous evolutionary biologist Ernst Mayr prompts evolutionists to construct historical narratives to try to explain evolutionary events or processes. In other words, stories are all evolutionists can muster to support macroevolution theory. If macroevolution theory, which must rest on faith in a story and is considered to be scientific, why not the creation story. With that in mind, it is no wonder the molecules-to-man debate has persisted for 150 years."

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Now, even with as FAIL as that was, there was WIN in the comments section! QAPLAH!

tricoteuse: "I used to be the Op Ed of a community college newspaper. I wrote most of my editorials the night of layout, in about an hour. I still managed to be more accurate and well-informed, and present more (accurate and reliable) evidence and support for my positions than this sad little piece in a "real paper." COMMUNITY COLLEGE. Do they let just ANYONE write just ANYTHING these days? Do they even read this stuff before printing it? "Opinion" doesn't mean "load of unsupported bollocks I'm printing just because I can," at least not in any remotely respectable publication. (Again, we did better than this at COMMUNITY COLLEGE for pete's sake.) I don't really need to comment on the specific glaring examples of Epic Fail in this piece because most of the comments preceding mine have already done so beautifully. So I'll say no more. But seriously. EPIC fail."

Ladies and gentlemen, they felt that burn at the Alamo. Dor sho gha!

This is a fail that needs to die.

I see this argument from ignorant fucktards more than I care to say. It needs to die.

Sir Lucario: "Well "logically", according to the rabid religion-haters' little theory of evolution, gays would have been weeded out by natural selection. If they are born the way they are, and they can't "get it up" in the presence of a woman, then they cannot procreate."

This literally made my eyes hurt.

I could have chosen any number of paragraphs in this long, droning article (complete with atrocious punctuation to the point where it becomes unreadable), but the selection provided should give a good glimpse at the Science Fail.

Adam McLean: "The central point within our consciousness, our "spirit" in the hermetic sense, can now be seen as an entity that can work to control quantum probabilities. To our "spirits" our brain is a quantum sea providing a rich realm in which it can incarnate and manifest patterns down into the electrical/chemical impulses of the nervous system. (It has been calculated that the number of interconnections existing in our brains far exceeds the number of atoms in the whole universe - so in this sense the microcosm truly mirrors the macrocosm!). Our "spirit" can through quantum borrowing momentarily press a certain order into this sea and this manifests as a thought, emotion, etc. Such an ordered state can only exist momentarily, before our spirit or point of consciousness is forced to jump and move to other regions of the brain, where at that moment the pattern of probability waves for the particles in these nerve cells, can reflect the form that our spirit is trying to work with."

THE STUPID HURTS!-Redux

TheBundo: "Mammoths quick-frozen with undigested tropical vegitation in their stomachs? Again, explained in written HISTORY. The earth was surrounded by a water vapor that gave a more even temperature, a true greenhouse effect. When it was let loose, it flooded the earth, exposed the polar extremities to the cold of space where it was further, on average, from the sun, as we still see, and got cold fast. The lower spots ended up sinking further, becoming the oceans and seas. The higher spots became even bigger mountains, with severely tilting strata. The dinosaur bones when down under the seas and where covered with silt running off the higher areas to the lower as the water retreated. So many things man scrambled around trying to explain are all easily explained by the flood."