A Testament To Fail

This entire site is a gigantic, creepy stalker shrine to fail. It's like they condensed trillions of terabytes of fail into one webpage. Have fun at home! Try to count the logical fallacies in this one segment!

DarwinsPredictions: "Evolutionists are commonly surprised by the scientific evidences from biology. The evidences do not fit the evolutionary expectations. Evolutionists argue strenuously that these surprises are not problems, but rather are signs of scientific progress. With each new finding, evolutionists say, we learn more about how evolution occurred. Is this true or simply a case of partisanship in science? How can we tell?"

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH! Dor sho gha! Their conclusion is so epic!

"The fact of evolution is a necessary consequence of the metaphysical assumptions evolutionists make. Metaphysical assumptions are assumptions that do not derive from science. They are made independent of science. These metaphysical assumptions that evolutionists make would be difficult to defend as necessarily true outside of evolutionary circles, but within evolution their truth is not controversial."

LMAO! The fundies accusing SCIENTISTS of making metaphysical assertions on biodiversity??? BONG!!!!!!!!!!! THEY OWE ME A NEW IRONY METER!!!!!!!

EPIC FAIL! BONG!!!

Sometimes you just have to see it to believe it.

Infinite Force: "Are you guys still holding on to your MACROevolution?

Question for the both of you? How long have you guys been building on MACROevolution?"

Feklahr: "How long have you been practicing logical fallacies and shooting loaded questions?"

Infinite Force: "What YOU call logical fallacies is natural to me since six years of age.

Shooting loaded questions? Well if this what I think it is I’ve started at 6 or 7 years of problem solving by asking myself question all the time and learning thyself.

Now...you gonna answer my question?"

Epic :headdesk:

As only "once_more" can: "Well see now; you learned something today. Adaptation can include speciation and still not be evolution.
.
:) "

O RLY? - Life forms edition

John Q. Public: "I interrupted after the professor told us that carbon based life was all that there was. I told him about sulphur based life forms discovered in the Gulf of Mexico, thier proximity to hydrogen sulfied rich natural gas vents on the sea floor and described the tubes these lifeforms looked like. I also insisted this all took place with no light."
(The rest of his rant is as insightful as this snippet is!)

Take me out to the FAIL game...

Robert Stevens: "I want to ad the most annoying thing about Atheist is they give The Christians too much of the soap box. The Atheist are like The Red Sox and they believe they could make a deal with The Yankees that in August of 2009 they'll play a 7 games series , and that'll be The World Series. It's a bizarre combination of disrespect and enjoying arguing with them the most. Again no one has the right to boycott any groups scientific studies , I could see debating on what school level should a science be studied or pre-requirements. As a New Ager I like ID with a pre-requirement of evolution studies , from their you have support , counter or completly disregard evolution options. In a University setting disagreeing with you professor does not equal failure. With responcible review boards this coarse could be "The Next big thing." See it'll happen anyway , you're just slowing science down , and possible your very own agenda. You could have your Ausust "World Series" but MLB will archieve The World Series as it happens in October & possible part of November."

FAILvolution

Dr. Lee Spetner: "Finally, the example of mutations in the B cells of the immune system carries no weight as an example of a mutation that adds information. Although these mutations do add information to the B-cell genome, they cannot be applied to evolution for the reasons I laid out above."

FAIL Super-saturation!

I have never seen so much FAIL so tightly packed together!

honest: "Well Dave, evolution is not a fact, it is still a theory. Until you can take a money and watch it turn into a human that you can call it a fact. Just because a few skulls have been found that seem to support the theory of evolution doesnt mean that it actually occured. For all we know it could have been different species of primates now extinct. If evoulution did occur why is it still not taking place today? As for separation of church and state the original meaning meant by the founders of our great nation was that we would not have a government mandated religion such as if found in some countries in the middle east. They in no way wanted God to be removed from government. Have you ever noticed that Congress starts everyday with a prayer? You Dave are the one who needs some educating. Both evolution and creationalism are theories. To be a fact you need irrefutable evidence which neither has. My best advice for you is to ask God yourself when you get to the other side. Unless of course you are an athiest that your just out of luck arent you"

Irreducibly FAIL...SQUARED!

Here's a double dose from a moron on Topix! Dor sho gha!

HEY MIDDLE AMERICA: "these silly questions are nothing but a diversion from the fact that you can't refute the statement that darinism cannot explai the irreducibly complex systems that make up cells and as such by darwin's own words:

" if one could find an organ or structure that could not have been formed by "numerous, successive, slight modifications," his "theory would absolutely break down" (Darwin 1859, 191).

and irreducibly complex systems are indeed a structure

so take up the challenge because so far nobody has ever produced a paper published in the jme that details how such complex systems were built using a darwinian framework"

HEY MIDDLE AMERICA: "that's not how it works...because the fable of evolution has stated that evolution of such irreducibly complex systems must occur for the theory to be valid it is up to the proponents of said fable to produce the needed proof to back it up...the mistake you and your ilk made was to prematurely declare evolution fact when it was never really proven in the first place"

Science AND Math FAIL!

Todd Wood: "Anyone who knows me at all knows that I break down creationist biology into four main components: design, natural evil, systematics, speciation, and biogeography."
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(How many components did YOU count? BONG!!!)

Take this FAIL and shove it!

Barb: "For ID evidence: how do we get the sexes, sexual reproduction, organs, self-healing skin, hearts that beat for a lifetime without any external energy source, our computer-like brains, our eyes and the ability to see colors?"

Scientific defense FAIL!

This entire article is chock-full of FAIL, but the good old "Second Law of Thermodynamics Fail" might be one of my most favorite of all time. (BTW, it's called "the sun", ignoramus.)

Edward N. Chase: "The Second Law of Thermodynamics is often stated as the law of increasing entropy: "A natural process always takes place in such a direction as to cause an increase in the entropy of the universe." (John Williams, "Modern Physics," Page 210). The effect of this law is that unless there is a purposeful source of energy operating in a system, the various parts, molecules, etc., become less and less organized and more and more random."

Yes, there really are this many people that FAIL at biology

voicecrying: "If Genesis is true, we are descendants of an incestuous relationship. However, if evolution is true, we are descendants of a bestial relationship - the first man/woman to evolve had to mate with a sub-human (i.e. beast) partner of the opposite sex."

Fooled you!

Ha ha! Still updating! There is too much science fail to stop at Iowa retardation! LOOK!

happypioneer: "IS EVOLUTION REALLY SCIENTIFIC, THEN EXPLAIN THIS- The "scientific method" is as follows: Observe what happens: based on those observations, form a theory as to what may be true; test the theory by further observations and by experiments; and watch to see if the predictions based on the theory are fulfilled. Is this the method followed by those who believe in and teach evolution? Hardly, if they did, they would be able to explain and provide scientific evidence about how the first cell was nutured. Until science can prove this EVOLUTION IS JUST A THEORY. AND SCIENTIST CAN NOT EXPLAIN THIS IN ANY SCIENTIC WAY.(EVOLUTION FACT---------NOT YET)."

Steaming Pile of Fail

Raymond H. Kocot: "Because confirmable observations and generating experimental data are impossible for unique events like life's origin and macroevolution theory, world-famous evolutionary biologist Ernst Mayr prompts evolutionists to construct historical narratives to try to explain evolutionary events or processes. In other words, stories are all evolutionists can muster to support macroevolution theory. If macroevolution theory, which must rest on faith in a story and is considered to be scientific, why not the creation story. With that in mind, it is no wonder the molecules-to-man debate has persisted for 150 years."

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Now, even with as FAIL as that was, there was WIN in the comments section! QAPLAH!

tricoteuse: "I used to be the Op Ed of a community college newspaper. I wrote most of my editorials the night of layout, in about an hour. I still managed to be more accurate and well-informed, and present more (accurate and reliable) evidence and support for my positions than this sad little piece in a "real paper." COMMUNITY COLLEGE. Do they let just ANYONE write just ANYTHING these days? Do they even read this stuff before printing it? "Opinion" doesn't mean "load of unsupported bollocks I'm printing just because I can," at least not in any remotely respectable publication. (Again, we did better than this at COMMUNITY COLLEGE for pete's sake.) I don't really need to comment on the specific glaring examples of Epic Fail in this piece because most of the comments preceding mine have already done so beautifully. So I'll say no more. But seriously. EPIC fail."

Ladies and gentlemen, they felt that burn at the Alamo. Dor sho gha!

This is a fail that needs to die.

I see this argument from ignorant fucktards more than I care to say. It needs to die.

Sir Lucario: "Well "logically", according to the rabid religion-haters' little theory of evolution, gays would have been weeded out by natural selection. If they are born the way they are, and they can't "get it up" in the presence of a woman, then they cannot procreate."

Some people fail out of general principle

Ray Martinez: "Immutability is not harmed by artificial breeding. Immutability refers to species that exist in the undisturbed wild. Wherever a new species is found----that is where it was introduced by a direct act of special creation ex materia. There is no other way for species to appear."

This literally made my eyes hurt.

I could have chosen any number of paragraphs in this long, droning article (complete with atrocious punctuation to the point where it becomes unreadable), but the selection provided should give a good glimpse at the Science Fail.

Adam McLean: "The central point within our consciousness, our "spirit" in the hermetic sense, can now be seen as an entity that can work to control quantum probabilities. To our "spirits" our brain is a quantum sea providing a rich realm in which it can incarnate and manifest patterns down into the electrical/chemical impulses of the nervous system. (It has been calculated that the number of interconnections existing in our brains far exceeds the number of atoms in the whole universe - so in this sense the microcosm truly mirrors the macrocosm!). Our "spirit" can through quantum borrowing momentarily press a certain order into this sea and this manifests as a thought, emotion, etc. Such an ordered state can only exist momentarily, before our spirit or point of consciousness is forced to jump and move to other regions of the brain, where at that moment the pattern of probability waves for the particles in these nerve cells, can reflect the form that our spirit is trying to work with."

Some people fail more than others

I am not going to post the entire ranting diatribe here, but I will give you a select nugget that should give you enough insight to understand this person's view on the human species.

Ranting, incoherent fucktard emails Pharyngula: "When these people left there was a large group of men who took off and ended up in Africa. Some of these men went to Borneo and caught female Orangutans and sailed across to South America and had sex with the female Orangutans and created the Indian. And the men who stayed in Africa caught female Gorillas and had sex with them and created the Black man. When scientists found the bones they thought we came from a female Chimpanzee. But it wasn't a natural evolution it was a man made evolution. That' where Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Orangutan man, Yeti and the Skunk Ape comes from. They are half man and half Gorilla and half man and half Orangutan. When scientists find drawings in caves they were put there by Bigfoot and the Orangutan man. Scientists are either finding freaks of nature or their making mistakes or their findings things and they just don't know what they are."

May the Fail be with you

supersport:
"Well, with a hologram, everything that happens within one area of a hologram affects other parts of the hologram.....there is thus a "non-locality" there. Within a hologram, all of the tiny parts, though part of the whole, actually have the whole in them. as far as DNA goes, information creates fractals -- waves of potential....your dna is actually a destabilized system, ready to move, all-for-one, one-for-all....with destablization within the genome, there is a capability self-organization upon shifts in consciousness, which can create complexity out of chaos....You can read more about DNA and holograms here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ-D5JJzYe"

Hulk fail :[

Infinite Force:

"We have wisdom tooth because we use/used them to crack hard objects, and chew hard foods in the past/present. When I crack a wall-nut with my teeth I use my back molars because leverage back there is stronger then the front teeth If you disagree then try cracking a wall-nut with your front teeth. The only reason we use them less now has nothing to do with evolution. It’s because we don’t use them as much because we SUBSTITUTE the cracking of hard objects with MAN-MADE TOOLS instead of our teeth.

Ask any body builder and they will tell you when they use their muscles a lot their bones get’s larger. When our ancestors use their teeth to break, sharpen and eat tougher foods they used the muscles and because of this their muscles, wisdom teeth and jaws got bigger. The less we used them the jaws got smaller just like the less a body builder life weights his/her bones get’s smaller."